Revision - Short Film Proposal

Here I improved on my grammar in this extract by including a comma after 'unfortunately'. I then wanted to use a more professional word rather than 'body' so I then changed it to 'physique' which also specifies exactly what I am talking about rather than just a human body.

I often found spelling mistakes, a lack of commas and also a lack of formal words so therefore I fixed these mistakes. At the beginning sentence of the second screenshot, you can see that the first sentence does not make clear sense. I eventually changed the sentence to ''Some of the female majority of the audience may either feel offended that women could also be potential abusers in a relationship, or that men are completely incapable of becoming victims; that it is in their nature to be the dominant and abusive partner in the relationship.'' This sentence makes more sense as it does not break up in full stops and commas, I have given an expanded explanation of the subject. Such as using less formal words such as 'it' I made the sentence longer.

Presentation Opening Lines

Good morning, my name is Yasmin Ally and I am here to present you with my short film proposal that aims to help increase awareness of domestic abuse towards men. 

Did you know that one in six men are victims in an abusive relationship? 

The reason as to why I am presenting about domestic abuse towards men is that it is often unrecognized and mocked by others, therefore I aim to increase viewer's awareness and knowledge of some of the most subtle signs that someone they know could be a victim of domestic abuse and the serious affect it could have.  

Short Film Proposal

Short film proposal from yl98

Presentation Good & Bad Opening Ideas

Good introductions to a presentation:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_mc1ckQGHpk

Why introduce yourself? Give a short detailed explanation about yourself.

Step 1: Give name and company

Step 2: Your value to people; what makes you unique and what can you do. (specialty & value)

Step 3: Who you can help. ‘’even if’’. Despite how bad the situation is; you are capable of helping it.

• Ask the audience questions/allow the audience to ask questions.
• Who are you?
• What is your topic?
• Why is it important?
• Start with relevant stories.
• Introduce yourself quickly.
• Explain how your topic can be useful to the audience and how they can benefit from listening.
• Show initiative.
• Give them issues to keep in mind.

Bad things/introductions to do in a presentation: 

- Divert from your objective.
- Lack enthusiasm when speaking.
- Drag the presentation out longer than you have to.
- Not being able to explain facts or unsure of what you are telling the audience.
- Talking too quietly.
- Talking too fast.
- Not giving the audience time to ask/respond to questions.
- Showing that you are unprepared.

Linguistic Register

A linguistic register is a range of language which is used for a particular purpose or in a particular setting. Linguistic register benefits the text in order for it to appear more professional and appropriate to the topic that is being discussed.This also helps the writer maintain their text to be formal as well as avoiding it becoming conversational.

My film might raise awareness about the conflict between men and women and how domestic abuse towards men can happen and the possible long term affects it has on men and also some reasons as to why men are not likely to report abuse than women. I want the audience feeling more aware and shocked that situations like this can happen towards men whether they are strong or not.

The continuous use of ‘’and’’ in the paragraph above makes the it become informal, as well as the repetitive use of informal language makes the paragraph appear to be conversational rather than professional. The paragraph also lacks punctuation which therefore makes the content become more difficult and incapable to read, as well as the lack of structure within the sentences; to give a broader explanation as to what point they are trying to express.   

My film will hopefully raise awareness towards the conflict between men and women and how domestic abuse against men can occur, the possible long term affects it has on men and also given reasons as to why men are less likely to report cases of domestic abuse than women. I would like the audience to become more aware and possibly shocked that situations like domestic abuse can happen towards men, despite their physique or status.

Presentation VIsuals

  Cover the basics:

- Enhanced resolution

- Standard size and appropriate theme; e.g lighting, contrast, suitable structure, colour.

- Non distorted.

  There are two features that can state whether a picture is a good image for a presentation:

  Image relevancy

  Does it strengthen the point/message of your slide?

  Image uniqueness

  Is the image attention grabbing towards your audience? 

           

Overused and generic images that are not relevant to the message you are trying to             portray can result in your audience becoming distracted. Images like this does not convey   a substantial message to your audience especially if they are irrelevant to your main point.

  Image relevancy

  

Presentation images are more than just an image to add to your slides as it is a visual representation of your message.

Effective presentations require a good setup and delivery - which include an appropriate positioning of the images which emphasise its relevance to the subject. This can be enhanced through the presenter's verbal communication or with a suitable quote, statement or title. 

  

  Does your approach support rich imagery?

Metaphors or analogies can benefit your presentation with more memorable visual options.

  Amount of content per slide

It is ideal that you express one of your points per slide, rather than trying to include all of your main content on to one page. Spread your ideas out on different slides and possibly use images more instead of text itself to create a message. Including images with your points on each slide could help the audience elaborate on the message you are trying to deliver.

  Image Uniqueness

Make sure your image is unique enough to:

- Stand out

- Draw attention from your audience

There are also two sections as to where a photo can become unique:

- The subject of the photo

- The structure of the photo

Subject of a photo

The focal point of an image is the subject of it.

The stock photo can become more unique in various different ways, such as:

'Tired' images - Instead of using generic photos, try and find something unique rather than overused photographs.

Unexpected application - Use more retro and playful photos instead of the standard business-orientated images. 

Realistic vs. fake - Many stock photos are clearly staged and 'perfect', try including realistic images that portray situations that the audience are more likely to have been in, allowing them to relate to your slides.

Exaggeration - Exaggeration in your slides can be useful when emphasizing main points, however too much exaggeration can be considered as tacky. 

Focus on people - The audience will most likely respond more to images with actual people on them.

Telling a story - A range of images can convey a strong message that your audience could possible relate to.

Evoke emotions - Photos can also be used to provoke emotions from an audience, which is another effective way of connecting with them emotionally and gathering some form of an active response from them. 

Humour - Using humorous images is another way of relating to your audience.

Composition - A stock photo can be made more unique through composition techniques.

Asymmetry - Amateur photographers make sure that their photos are centred. Asymmetrical photos are most likely to come from the rule of thirds.

Empty space - All of the space within a slide does not have to be filled, having a clear and empty space can create a nice contrast with the rest of the image. 

Point of view - Photographers can grab the audience's attention by capturing images from different views and angles, even with the most simplest every day scenes.

Perspective - Photographers can also add dramatic depth and distance to their images.

Cropping - Some images can become more attractive by being cropped to make the subject look more closer, rather than photographing in a standard view.

Background - By putting images onto a white background it will contrast effectively and make the image stand out more. 

Focus or depth of field - Focusing on a key part of an image and blurring out the rest of the content behind it will emphasize its significance.

Framing - Adding images in the foreground will make the main image more unique. 

Action or motion - Capturing movement will add an energetic affect to your slide.

Repetition - Showing repetition in your slides will catch the audience's attention and will highlight the point you are trying to express

Colour - Including colour in your slides will exaggerate the tone and mood of your subject, and also to indicate which topic you are on. 

Improving your presentation - homework